Thursday, January 16, 2003

TPR and Goodbye Visit with Birth mom

Birth mother Good Bye Visit—Originally the State had wanted us to take both children to visit Once a month with birth mom. However birth mom failed to appear at the pre-hearing for the Termination Of Parental rights and the visit on January 16 was determined to be the LAST one and the good bye would take place…..

DHS could have handled this whole thing soooo much better. I was told I would not have to meet the birth mother—it ended up that I did…and the whole situation was terribly stressful. The children and I went down the day before and stayed in the same hotel we had when we did the transition. The next day we had to go to the meeting at 1 pm.

I took the children to the DHS visitation center and the caseworker and visit supervisor met me. They told me when birth mom came that I should leave and come back in an hour. Birth mom came—I had to meet her….and I left.
I came back and waited forever….then the visit supervisor came out with the baby and asked me to take him to my car….because they were having ‘Problems getting Makala out of there….” Later I noticed security and the supervisor and others escorting birth mom out to the car while she clung to Makala…. She said her “I Love you’s” to Makala and handed her to me and said, “thank you.”---and we were off….Both children feel right to sleep.

I cried for about 100 miles of the 300 we had to drive.... I did not expect to have to see birth mom and it honestly broke my heart to hear her tell me, "Thank You." but at the same time at least a part of my spirit knows that birth mom does not HOLD US responsible for the TPR or the fact we adopted her children. I am so Glad we didn't go Foster to Adopt....I would have felt a party to the action of ending her rights and I would have had much more contact with her.... I don't think I would ever do Foster to Adopt just for this one small moment in time.

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