Thursday, January 02, 2003

We met the foster family.

We met the Foster Parents and the baby for dinner and talked about Makala. It was awkward because it was clear the foster mother was very bonded to the baby and really feeling as if we were taking her child. It was hard for me because I wasn't that happy watching her feed him with her hands and allow him to eat directly from the high chair tray with his fingers.

Call me a little uptight but, I always teach my children good manners even when they are little and as a mommy I would have been feeding my nearly one-year old with a spoon and a fork not my hands. To each their own I supose.

The Foster Dad advised Andrew that Makala would scream every time he got near her at first so to not be surprised if she acted afraid of her new father for a while. We were not sure how to take this information -- really it did seem a little odd to just blurt right out the way he did. But, it is good to know I suppose...after all this is going to be hard for her and for Andrew becoming a dad for the first time all at once with two children--and one who has so much history.

The Foster family told us they had wanted to adopt the baby but felt Makala needed more then they could give her. The said that had asked the state for a sibling split and had lost this request. I think we should have been told this before we all showed up at the local Denny's as if everyone was happy with the transition plan--and the overall situation.

The talked with us about the tantrums written up in the Profile. Foster mom confessed that she had been to a class about ‘Attachment’ and that she had thought about working on some of the ideas with Makaylah but thought she would let the adoptive parents do these things… Foster mom said she felt Makaylah had attachment issues. Was mean to the baby and had drawn a picture of a penis which was why Makaylah was in Therapy.

...... I left feeling really anxious about going all the way back to a baby of one-year old but, also knowing he had been well cared for and very much loved for most of his life on this earth.

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