Thursday, April 08, 2004
An expert continues to look for the correct answers.
When I re-read the open letter that I have actually sent to several people there is part of me that feels I was a little too harsh... blunt and maybe not considerate.....but, also there is part of me that is thankful I have said a few things here... to the people wh do care--who are trying and who I hope want the same things we do--for our children.Trust me--when we started this journey we had all the denial in the world....all the attitude that the stories were hear somehow would not really apply to our situation....HOW could they? We are older--expereinced--educated--and secure!While I might tell those who know so little that I am the EXPERT I know in my heart and in the back of my mind that one thing a real expert does is continue to look for the answers--solutions and trail and error is part of being an expert too... I would NEVER claim to know it all....never say there is nothing left to learn--try or experience. I think the most frustrating thing in dealing with the family, friends and local support system is when THEY think they are the experts.... To be honest is was in fact the 'down-talking' of a kindergarten teacher who had her first baby 9 months ago and actually felt she KNEW what a good consequence was for what I know is to be expected behavior--that set me off. Some people simply cannot even imagine WHAT it really must feel like to get NEW parents.....somedays I cannot even imagine it! There are people who want everything to fit into a neat package--and their expectations are unrealistic!I believe that everything is going to work out well--in the end--wherever the end is....but, even a year and two months is NOT enough time even for such a little girl....Time and LOVE and efort and learning and growing and an open mind are what it takes to be an expert when we chose to become forever parents.
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