Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Shopping RIGHT!

The Non-controlled snack choices I have been keeping in the house since before school got out should be fairly good stuff... I really do feel it is the amount of food she is consuming.RasinsApple ChipsFruit Snack (however I am deleting these because they are very high in natural sugars..)Cherrios (I guess these could be a real carbo jolt)Graham Crackers (I am going to have to read the lable closer)Granola Bars--again these could be a problem with higher fats so I have been getting the lower fat ones.There is usually a box of fish crackers or Cheese It's The kids are allowed to have as many apples, oranges, grapes and banana's as they want...and there is often melon, pears, and other kinds of berries here.Carrots and celery however Makala will only eat them with Ranch dressing so I am getting the lite dressing now.Seeds, and nuts dry roasted and when I can find them salt free--I know these can be high in fats for kids not allergic.

The whole house has switched off white breads, and several other carb loaded cereals. Except the Cherrios. And on most days I have been actually cooking eggs or oat meal more and more often. The only soda pop I have been getting is sugar free sprite...which still beats Kool Aid or juice. I have been getting Crystal Ligh OJ (New here) and no one has even noticed the lack of sugar. There is also some fruit flavored sparkling waters that have been very popular in the house. 1% milk for everyone except I do slip some 2% and/or whole in for the baby who actually has not been growing very well. I have been spending the extra $$$ on sugar free ice cream since it is one of the big issues around here and I got some sugar free pop-cycles for summer....

As for activity I would feel this was a real issue in the winter when it rains day in and out here--but, truthfully I don't know how I could offer much more then we have been doing this summer. We have a 2 foot deep 12 foot diamater pool for Makala to swim in, she has learned to ride her bike without training wheels, has roller blades, and we are lucky to have a great neighborhood where she can run around within my sight for hours, climbing trees, and she has a full play structure in the back yard.... She has been going to the Y to swim lessons, and we walk the zoo every week at least once...

I lost 5 pounds on vacation and she gained???? Maybe she is about to grow taller soon?.... (I did see one of my bios gain dramatic weight right before a spurt)....and she has not changed clothes sizes really since she got here almost 18 months ago... She could also be an early bloomer.... It seems odd but I actually think there are some signs of development--Tori was only 9 when she got her 'that time of the month' I wonder here?

I found it odd that I was told to band aide the picked boo-boo's too.... I had the same reaction when it became an issue--I didn't feel like I wanted her to pick for attention and refused to make a big deal out of it all.... she usually does this at bedtime when she wants to stay up.... all of a sudden she is bleeding... So I was telling her to go get toilet paper and hold it on the spots she picked...

But amazingly in only a few weeks she has stopped picking and spends time taking the band aide off instead which is great because she has an olive complextion and the scars show really clear.... I can't wait to get into therapy full gear where I can focus directly on it and not deal with the activity of summer.... Here in Oregon when it is summer you have to make the best of it or you miss it completely.... And having the older kids in and out is not as helpful as one might think.I have been reacting differently to her tantrums which has not appeared to be helping us that much.

Last night she was ticked off because I changed the channel on the TV when she went outside and she demanded I change it back she was instantly into a tantrum and this time was right in my face about it---she then sat right next to me and started pushing her elbow into my side as hard as she could---when I told her not to hurt me again she got real hateful and then when daddy tried to back me up she attempted to hit him....which she has recently been doing and at that point I escorted her by her arm upstairs and had her get ready for bed.... as soon as she was done she wanted to look at the family book given to her before we started transition...????

This morning she was rather defiant toward me on the way to day camp. And for about the tenth time she made the remark--"Why did you even pick me?" Until today I have always told her because we loved you the moment we knew about you---today I told her that parents don't really know what they are getting when they have a child and that I didn't get to pick my oldest son and Tori and there wasn't anyplace I could send them back to....and that it was the same for her now... I am just stuck with what God gave me and it was his idea that I got my oldest son, Tori, Makala and Jeremiah and there really isn't anything I can do about it...."I get what I get and I can't throw a fit...."

She wanted to argue and say that she knew the Foster Family had told me she was naughty and had tantrums.... I said "so what Tori and her brother were naughty and had tantrums too whats your point?" It is almost as if she wants me to say I was lied to and tricked into adopting her and that boy do I regret it---(sometimes ) Or that I cannot take it any more and now she needs to move on.... I am so glad she found a family that come hell or high water would not disrupt I think that would have really hurt her....

She also sometimes talks about the fact that we could send her to boarding school and I have no clue where she got that one?It was interesting because after a few therapy appointments she THOUGHT the therapist was a Caseworker...

I told her NOPE there are not and will not be any more caseworkers again...that stuff is over and she is ours even more so then my oldest son and Tori all I did with them is have a baby--with her and Jeremiah I signed a contract that makes her more my child -- I didin't make a contract with my oldest son and Tori! The way her mind thinks! Anyway--I plan to use this journal to dump all this stuff out there I hope others get something out of it and I love getting feedback on things we are dealing with..... It is going to be an interesting journey.

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