Thursday, August 05, 2004

A little better.....?

Well, I am feeling a little better.... It has been a hard few weeks.Makala--is safe and fine. The place is not as horrible as I thought it might be. And thankfully she is getting all the help we could ever hope for.

Our Attachment Therapists has been deeply involved in this whole situation.... She has recomended that Makala not be kept the full 7-10 days as that would be too long....she would like Makala to be released on Friday evening.(total of 5 nights away from home) We have found a 'shrink' finally!....

A man who was working with a bigger group office has recently left to make his own practice and slow his life down a bit--He has 22 years experience and his wife is a Family Living Coach (?) They can see her Monday! He only likes to treat the pre-school and very young children under 10 so we fit with his likes....

Our thrapist told me that she antisipated something like this would take place.... and that her greatest fear was that we would need to get residentail treatment due to the great shortage of real psyc help in our area. I wish she would have told me this! The therapist says she believes that Makalas biggest issue is sever anxiety and that she is always ready to snap--and release the stress....

Which goes along with my Chiropractor who checked her out last week and said he had never seen a little child with such tense muscles in her back! The therapists suggests that Makala is always so filled up with anxiety that anything will cause her to need to release this stress and that she is not finding ways that she can let it go without the tantrums and rages...I have to admit that her stress is starting to make me stressed out and that I have been getting to places where I overreact sometimes....

Last night I ran and got fast food for the rest of the family and the whole way home I was thinking--"Oh gosh I hope they didn't forget sweet and sour sauce, or a straw--or the prize--Oh no I got something for mayself and Makala is going to be mad she didn't get what I got...Oh no, did they give me apple juice I don't see it............oh thats right M is not home, I don't have to worry about all this..........."I guess the stress is affecting me so much more then I realized!The therapists wants both my husband and I to come in....

My husband is somewhat less convienced there are such issues... as RAD there is so much literature which refers to RAD as POP-Psychology and a fad. We are still on the same page but I feel he is doubting me and my abilities more and more.... But like he says he is here 1/3 of the time that I am.Anyway--that is a quick update.... We saw Makala last night and she is NOT being medicated... she was still out of control in many ways and wanted us to play UNO her way and not by the rules...she wanted me to leave and she is still not being very nice to me unless someone else is looking....

We are just telling her that we want to find the right way for her to feel good and not be upset so much.... She actually seems to be having fun at the center but has asked to come home.... We can take her anytime we want however the therapists has advised us that if we pull her out and something were to happen to her or the baby there could be some ramifications we wouldn't want to face....so we are following the advice of everyone involved....

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