Sunday, January 16, 2005

Mom's First Day at Day Treatment

I had my two hour time at the day treatment on Wednesday and WOW am I thrilled with EVERYTHING I see about this program!

1--First off I was shown how to do the same 'safe-holds' they use at the treatment center and personally found them better then the way I was shown at training with DHS--Maybe I didn't learn well at DHS but the day treatment center showed me some methods I found much better for me especially with my back injury.

2--Time outs--I was able to watch and see HOW time outs look at the treatment center and can now make a few adjustments to mine at home.

a--I was expecting her to stand (basically the old put your nose in the corner way I had as a child) Where as the treatment center is only expecting the children to 'stay' on a mat and they are not rigid about what the time out LOOKS like--where as I was demanding silence and stillness...

b--They are not using the min for a year rule and re-starting the time out if the child adheres but then 'falls-out' instead they feel if the kid at least gets under control and then falls out progress has been made.

c--They are going to the child DRING the time out and sit with the child and talk about what is going on--I usually talk to the child from a distance during time out and wait until it is over for a hug and conversation.

d--when the time out is over the whole issue is over and I tend to wait for the bell and do a finish up talk and hug....

I am adjusting my attitude about time out and following what I am seeing by lessening my expectations--not barking the whole time she is in time out and restarting if she 'falls out' and making certain the whole thing is over when the bell rings--hug and done.

3--I have been able to learn some language I didn't have before--for example with the arguing... I am the one who was going to get the 'last word' come He!! or high water and made sure I did every time even if I lost my voice trying.... Now I can say some things I heard the staff say: Arguing will not change anything... and say it only twice and then bite my tongue and say NOTHING ELSE (anyone who prays please stick a word in for me being able to do this!)

4--I have been helped in dealing with the meal time issues we have at home and the methods they use at school---Healthy food first and then treats. In her sack lunches everyday we are supposed to number the food in order of what we think the kid needs to eat first. The staff will insist that the food marked #1 are eaten and the rest is in order given...if she does not eat her fruit she may not eat the treat item... Same thing at home and apparently I am not Mommy Dearest for re-heating a cold dinner if my child demands to eat an hour after refusing dinner!

Speaking of Joan Crawford and Mommy Dearest--I want to re-read this Book! Has anyone else ever considered that perhaps Christina had RAD? I keep remembering the, "No wire Hangers" fight especially when I am dealing with a stupid power struggle and planning to win--once in awhile I walk away thinking No Wire Hangers how may freaking times do I have to tell you this..... I ordered the book and cannot wait to read it from this side of the thinking--I think it could be a masterpiece of the issues RAD children have written by a child who grew up!

Anyway---so far so good. I am loving the communication and the fact that even the driver is letting me know EVERYTHING that I might need to know and for once it seems that Makala is not out in the world doing as she pleases....

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