Thursday, February 24, 2005

Am I being too Open by keeping my online Journal?

Am I being too Open by keeping my online Journal?

It has been awhile....

I have had a few people criticize the openness that I have shown on these threads.... Been told that my willingness to share in fact is a Bad thing and HURTS my cause to Advocate for the Adoption of Special needs and Waiting children.....Personally, I have wanted to share for the very fact that I don't want dreamers and people with unrealistic expectations to Adopt these children--they need much stronger parents then the average child.

I also don't feel that my daughter will grow up to HATE me for this openness--I think that if she were to run across these threads one day she will see that it was all About LOVE and my hope and desire to HELP her become WHO she can become........ I keep my own handwritten journal that I will give her come the right time.....of letters I write to HER and how this has been all and only for HER best interest..... She is a pretty OPEN book herself--a lot more LIKE me then any of my four children--I imagine that she will one day be on this forum with a big fat mouth too.

The past few weeks have of course included many of the same old things....God LOVE HER..... Recently we are back in the mode of TESTING every rule, every limit and every boundary--This is rather normal behavior for kids her age---but, compounded with the PROVE YOU LOVE ME issues.... Oh the Joy of motherhood.

Really my problem KID right now is Tori.... she really has tossed me into an emotional roller coaster ride with her recent comment that she believes Christianity is a Biological Mental disorder...? I hope she returns from this world she is in soon.... anyone willing to Pray for her would help....I would honestly like to see her in heaven....Oh Well....I can see that the TESTING may never end.....such is the life of a mother.

Makala's case plan is written--and they intend to have her reenter public school in Fall 2006 that would be a 20 month program....However they have told me that she is smart and fast so she may leave quicker.

I cannot even express how wonderful this program has been..... I think that the big thing for our family is the fact that our circle is tight and our Holding Therapy is about all the people in her life CARING about her--and backing us and our family values up.

I have been stunned with the willingness to support OUR personal family---Last week her Church memory verses became a Power Struggle at home...This week her program includes Learning Her memory verses at School--can you believe That? A public agency willing to even listen to a child say a memory verse--I am amazed! This program is really all about different kids with different issues and backing each Family and Their values and expectations UP--I wish this were the standard with EVERY child in all situations....Every family is unique and deserves to have their own family be respected and supported in whatever that family is or believes.

Thanks everyone for all the support..... I am still deciding if I think my openness is actually a Bad thing...or if being open will help any person decide they are NOT ready to adopt a special kid?

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