Friday, March 04, 2005

She looks so much older then she is.

Makala is so hard to look at and see the little girl she actually is..... She is taller and more mature then both of my 10 year old nieces..... She has an air of maturity that makes basic expectations hard to identify.... The only time it HITS me how young she actually is are the times I see her with the children her age--and compare..... It is so easy to see a child who looks 9-10 and not remember that she turned 7 just a few weeks ago..... I personally am really WORKING on this--I have been since she was placed because I realized right away that she was VERY mature looking and acting in so many ways..... She can put pretend make up on and look like she is ready for a date!

I think sometimes as parents when we do take older children it can take awhile to figure out what exactly the expectations should be.... Sometimes I do feel that I have been expecting her to act the way she appears.... I spend a LOT of time looking at videos of Tori at this age lately..... Tori was much more baby like and I do feel that Makala has this issue working against her on so many levels..... Her doctor even did some special tests to determine if she is actually older then we all think---Makala was NOT born in a hospital and no one even knew she was alive for four years! Even her birthday is just a speculative date Mom was NOT exactly sure and guessed because of the amount of day light when M was born.... Feb 1 is considered the half way point between winter and spring..... that was the day mom guessed her birth to be..... I still cannot believe this myself.....

Anyway--I am happy so far with the efforts the day treatment is making and will ask about this specific testing issue as well as several others that people have PMed me about.....

No comments:

Post a Comment

New Memories -- Blog Tags

abuse (1) acceptance (3) adoptee (1) Adoption (1) Adoption Committee (1) Adoptive Parent (3) AdoptiveParentsNetwork.com (2) Advocate (4) Alcohol-Related Neurodevelopmental Disorders (ARND) (18) anxiety (2) At Risk (1) Attachment (3) Attachment Disorder (2) Attachment Therapy (AT) (10) Attorney (1) Behaviors (2) Bill of Rights for Children's Mental Health Disorders and their Families (1) birth mom (5) boundaries (4) Case Worker (3) Child Identification (1) Child Rights (1) Christian (1) Christmas 2008 (1) communication (1) consequences (4) Contact (1) DHS (4) diagnosis (4) Disruption (2) Dissolution (1) divorce (3) documentation (1) domestic violence (3) door alarm (2) DSM IV (1) eating disorders (1) employment (2) Family (2) family preservation (2) FASD Resource (2) Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) (24) foster family (3) Foster Home (3) Fund Raisers (2) Funding (1) goodbye (2) grief (3) home (3) Home Study (1) honeymoon (2) impulsive behaviors (3) Individual Education Plan (IEP) (15) loss (2) Marty (4) Medicaid (1) medication (6) mental health (4) mental health services (2) Missing Children (2) Mt Hood Oregon (2) Nancy Thomas (1) negative attention (3) Neurobiology (1) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (2) oxytocin (1) Parent Advocate (2) Parental Rights (1) parenting (4) police (2) Post Adoption Family Therapy (1) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) (1) processing (3) propaganda (2) RAD Cult (6) RAD Mom (7) RAD Research (2) Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (23) Research (8) Residential Treatment Center (1) Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (3) Resource (9) Respite (1) Safety (1) School (10) Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) (1) secondary behavior (1) Services (1) sexualized behaviors (4) short term memory (1) social (2) special education (7) Special Needs (2) Statewide Action for Family Empowerment (SAFE) (1) stealing (1) symptoms (2) tantrums and rages (4) Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) (1) The Brain (2) therapist (4) time outs (4) transition (8) Triangulation (1) Trust (1) Understanding Attachment (1) Understanding FASD (6) vacation (6) violence (2) Washington (2) website (8) When Love Is Not Enough (1) wraparound (1)