Monday, May 16, 2005

Planning a RAD Vacation!

I am not sure how many times I have been told that planning a vacation with a RAD Kid is like getting ready to go visit He!! for a few weeks--but, I just cannot help myself....

My RAD kid just needs to learn that she is going to take vacations...

Of course, I expect my kids (all of them) to get excited and anxious while we get ready to goooooo! I get excited and anxious myself!

So Sunday morning daddy took the kids on a shopping for the trip outing and Makala just could not help it--and she "attempted" to steal something again! URG! Now, daddy thinks it was more about trying to 'trick' him into having to buy more then he said he would--but, I treat it just the same. Daddy told the kids they could pick out a new stuffed animal to ride along in the care--Makala picked hers out but, then wrapped several necklaces around the neck!

Daddy thinks her goal was to get to the checkout stand and for the clerk to just ring the necklaces up and daddy would have to pay--because it would be a hassle to not pay at that point... OK--maybe so. But, things like this have happened before and the fact is that stuffing something into something else or trying to make something "look" like it comes with more then it does is most likely a crime? I am not sure but I think it would be?

So, this time I decided the consequence has to be a good one. Maybe if this had been her first try with this thinking I would let it go with less punishment--but, things like this have happened in the past---and even if she was just trying to 'trick' daddy that is NOT acceptable either!

Makala, spent the rest of her day in "Mom-Jail" People in jail are not free to do what they want--they have to do what they are told to do when they are told to do it. I made sure she was NOT isolated but, she was very unhappy. She ate lunch and dinner in her room. We did some vacation packing but not in a cheery and happy way--in a boot camp sort of way where I made sure to control every step. I had her choose five complete outfits...Pants/shorts, shirt, underpants, and socks. When she tried to add jammies--I made her put them back and told her I had not said anything about jammies--when she wanted to pack dresses, I made her hang them back up because I never said anything about dresses... toys or hair ribbions... Just five outfits and that is all.

She had her One Hour of Outside time in the 'supervised' play yard--just like people in jail get. She got her one phone call, and library books but no radio, tv or other fun stuff while in jail... I did make sure she was not isolated--but, I also made sure she got the point. No One wants to go to jail--and everyone wants to get out when they do. But, if she keeps taking things that are not hers or looking for a way to get things by cheating then she is planning to go to jail...and If she is sent to jail MOM and DAD will not be able to do much about it.

It was a hard day--but, I think Makala is starting to get it. She made several remarks that she does not want to go to real jail--I told her I don't want her to go to real jail either and that is why we are going to see just a little about how real jail feels...except you go to the bathroom in your cell and your mom is not there with you. It was a long day too. I think she started to ask when dinner was at about 2:30!

......anyway, like I told Makala I want her to have our trust and be able to go to stores without us when she is older, and I want to be able to take her to stores now without thinking she would steal things.

I saw some 'hinting' that the stealing issues might be resurfacing last week with the coin banks the kids have. Makala's suddnely seemed very full and when I checked on Jeremiah's his was nearly empty except dimes (which Makala still thinks are the least value because they are smaller) Last week I had to make a rule that mommy would could her money and from now on all of the coins are in Mom's care--If anyone 'gets' more coins mom needs to know how--who--where they came from.

What a Life!

So we have the 'stealing' issue come back around... I am guessing that the next return behavior might be: sexualized or revisiting the birthmom seperation greif???? We will see.... Considering all the kids we will see on vacation are Boys except ONE of the 15 kids--my guess is that the flirty side of my beautiful daughter will need to be watched very closely.... At least I know to watch this year...the first vacation we had no clue and I can just be thankful that as far as anyone can tell--all the children were safe and no one has any issue that will require therapy to cope with!

We leave in less then 48 hours so this may be the last update before we travel! I have made any comments on the journal require my approval until I get back just in case someone decideds to spam this site or journal.

Anna

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