Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Is it really only Wednesday?

Gosh I cannot believe it is only Wednesday! Time seems to be dragging for me this week!

M is still appearing to have better control of her moods on the medication. She is also apparently on a VERY low dose so that makes me feel pretty good.

I had my weekly meeting with the case manager and everyone can see the difference so it seems that for the near future we will continue to medicate. Perhaps giving M time to LEARN to skills to manage and deal with what triggers her rages.

Yesterday I got the fantastic news that Jeremiah is going to start the 3-5 year old day treatment program and personally this thrills me completely--especially given the recent developments with doo-doo issues that we are having! I am not going to go into any details as most people can completely imagine but I will say that we need new carpet!

I don't know for sure yet when he will be starting but, I do know that the style I see at the day treatment is one I like and that the ideas and methods are working in so many ways. It will be nice to have both children on the same consistent program and Jeremiah doesn't really have anything better to do for the next few years so we can't see any reason to pass this up.

Yesterday I went to the Zoo with his Pre-school and frankly some of those children are complete monsters and I was less then impressed with the teacher in charge of this class. If the worst we have to fear is that Jeremiah picks up new tricks from other children then.....I don't see how these kids in pre-school could have any less to teach him! My goodness.....

So for now it looks like our family is on a holding pattern of sorts. Which is good and for at least the next 12 months we should have a consistent life with few changes.

I also spoke to my daddy the other night. He is completely broken hearted. He and my step mother have a 13 year old son and for the past 8 or more years they have been the legal guardians to my step sisters three children.....well, my step sister has been CLEAN and sober for over 2 years now and is married and doing very well in life! Which is really a blessing...but my daddy is broken hearted because two weeks ago they had to let the oldest child go back to my step sister and the other two will be returned over the next several weeks.

Frankly, my father is over 60 and my little brother has really been screwed in all of this. My dad and step mom have had some very rocky times the past few years and I honestly feel that these three kidos should be with my step sister if at all possible. It is not like my dad is not still a grandfather the children are NOT gone....and my little brother deserves some time with my dad as his father and not having such chaotic life.... I might feel a lot different if my father were much younger but I don't like the fact that he has to WORK as hard and long as he has had to for the last several years just to make ends meet.

My dad was a father at the Age of 19 and has always had children to raise... He should have some time in his life where he is not a dad on call every moment.... Our family is not known to live to a great old age so who knows how long he will even be around! And my step sister should get her life together and take care of her kids... it is time!

I guess in many ways I want my dad back too. I am sort of hurt because I had to hear the news from my mother who heard from one of my other brothers....and my dad didn't even call me to tell me himself! And then he ended our call by saying he had to call the boy who went back to my step sister because he calls him every night....makes me feel bad because I cannot remember the last time my father called me...... Boy do I have some problems or WHAT?

Anyway--I am just glad that things are working out. I never much liked all this. We had offered to adopt the three kids when we were doing our adoption and were flat out told that my step sister was going to get them back and that my dad was simply taking care of them until she got her life together so it sort of seems odd that my dad is so broken up about letting them return it is not like they are gone--he will always be grandpa and he will always have a relationship with the least that.

Can you tell I really have daddy issues?

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