Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Oh My Gosh and a bunch of other Why Why Why's

well, it is unbelievable just how far this child wants to push me. and God knows that she could have the world at her feet....but, Why Why Why....why.... Not even worth adding the ? question marks because the Whys just don't matter to me anymore

It was the typical afternoon and Makala had to pretend that she did not know why Jeremiah was soooooooooo upset...and that she had no idea that her foot was ON his Gummy Bear--at the bottom of the pool....all he wanted was his gummy bear and she just didn't realize her foot was on it......out of the pool for a time out....tantrum fit--RAGE!!! No way is mom going to take it today....

Long LONG LONG time OUT! Long enough that she GAVE UP the attitude and stopped RAGING and I got a few words in....Like that I don't mind giving her Negative Attention because it is FREE and I am saving a lot of money because negative attention is easy enough for me to give her if this is what she really wants.

When it was over she did a good turn (Girl Scout Talk) and emptied the cat box! Wow nice job Makala! I was really so happy....and I called mom and not 2-minutes later JUST had that FUNNY FEELING and sure enough I walked into the play room where Makala was in one of her acting out stages and inappropriate. Clearly sexualized behaviors.

I called the Day Treatment center and her case manager called me right back and told me to put Makala in her room with her alarm on the door. Feed her let her go to the bathroom and blah blah blah so I am keeping a log and well what a wonderful odd feeling to have a child in a room with an alarm on it....urgh....how odd how hard this is.....I am so tired of being on guard....I guess the alarm really does reduce my stress and make the home safe.....I just wish things could be normal...What is Normal anyway? Why? and who the HELL caused these issues in the life of this BEAUTIFUL little girl....I wish that person was in a room with an alarm right now....or dead.... anyway......another rough day in my life....my heart just keeps breaking,

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