After the recent accusations that blogging somehow violates my family privacy I have pondered the idea of "who cares?" Really! My so-called private life is really rather minimal and could be defined as only those things that take place behind the bedroom or bathroom door. It surely never bothers me to be seen at the shopping center by someone who Might actually know who I am... It doesn't bother me to lead or attend a local support group meeting... where I do not sign in as "HappyMomAnna" or under one of my pen-names. I am ME there... Authentically ME everywhere I go with my physically body.
Actually, I have always been me. And have already demonstrated that My Public and active life in the community -- where people actually know me -- did NOT in anyway damage my two grown children. In fact, I would say the fact they grew up with Me as their mother has taught them that Being Real is what matters more then Anything. I have many friends with children the same ages as my adult children who are big fat loser kids still living at home, not finished with college and not living any kind of real life at all.
My 23 year old Graduated from the University of Oregon with HONORS and spoke at the ceremony with her degree in Psychology and is starting her Masters Program in Marriage and Family Therapy. They are each individual es and both completely the opposite from each other in every possible way. I raise Authentic and self thinking children who Know the WORLD WATCHES them... That they are actually responsible for what they say, what they write and how they live their own lives.
Some might say their mothers "Publicness" did nothing but help them understand that it really all does matter and there isn't any such thing as "privacy" except in the bathroom and no one really cares about that. My Adult children NEVER snuck out at night, used drugs, got in trouble for anything. The lived in a life were there wasn't much need for "privacy" because there really wasn't anything to HIDE.
To me an Authentic life means that it is the same in public as it is in private aside from some personal activities shared between two people. And even that isn't much if the two people are not Authentic with themselves and each other.
My children know that there really are not huge secrets in this world. People see what they do even if I don't write about it. The fact it wasn't written didn't mean it didn't happen. My children also know that what they Write or say may come back to hurt them. They know that Fowl Language is offensive to most people and they know that Intelligent People have a bigger vocabulary then words that start with the letter "F". I made sure to help them learn as many Adjectives as they might need to express themselves with more talent then an uneducated person who seem to cling to offensive NON-Words which are overused by ignorant people who seem to think they add to the emotion of something spoken or read. My children learn by ME and my public life that those "pee-pee" words lack every form of class.
I also find it rather funny that somehow I should shield myself from being known on the Internet as WHO I actually am--when my husbands name is plastered all over the Internet--by the Federal Government... Because of who he is and what he does. No one seems to make a point of that breech of privacy...
The truth is Privacy only matters if you live in a cave. Authentic people with good communication skills and plenty of adjectives to express themselves and nothing to hide don't really give much care to privacy, My name is listed in the phone directory, people actually do knock on my door and actually know who I am. Wow!
So, I have no idea why this whole Internet privacy anonymous world is considered so important when I walk around WHO I am everyday. What I write about my children is witnessed, documented and part of the story of their Authentic lives. If my child "Hates" me when she reads what I have written--she would have found another reason to hate me anyway. Since, I don't teach my children to HIDE and be fake in the world. Some people out there might have been better off if their mother had written about them--before the news did when they ended up in jail or writing the F-word all over thinking it wasn't offensive. Even behind the wall of the Internet you can tell when someone cares about the Public face they show even if it is masked by a computer keyboard.
So other than my writing pen names I am under contract to use with publishers--I am very tired of this double life! I don't live behind a computer keyboard and as I walk in life my REAL Name is the name people at support group, the schools, my neighbors and pretty much anyone in my real life knows me as. It seems funny to think that being someone else on the Internet is so important...After all I live with People Near Me! and They KNOW my Name! And well--people on the Internet are no more likely to come hurt me then anyone else who actually might see I am a person...
If My Husband can be listed by his full and legal name, hundreds of times by the US Patent Office because he has written something like 300 Patents (which take about 5 or more years to actually be issued and recorded) then Who Cares if anyone knows who I am... I am the wife of an amazing Genius who writes Patents. Just do a search Andrew Rodney Ferlitsch and see how private our lives really are....
so, who cares about protecting privacy--our lives are far too rich to sacrifice who we are for a screen name anon life so we can spit out four letter words and act as if someone might pay us to write or show us respect just because we hide behind a screen name and think that means Privacy...
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