Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Authentically Me

After the recent accusations that blogging somehow violates my family privacy I have pondered the idea of "who cares?" Really! My so-called private life is really rather minimal and could be defined as only those things that take place behind the bedroom or bathroom door. It surely never bothers me to be seen at the shopping center by someone who Might actually know who I am... It doesn't bother me to lead or attend a local support group meeting... where I do not sign in as "HappyMomAnna" or under one of my pen-names. I am ME there... Authentically ME everywhere I go with my physically body.

Actually, I have always been me. And have already demonstrated that My Public and active life in the community -- where people actually know me -- did NOT in anyway damage my two grown children. In fact, I would say the fact they grew up with Me as their mother has taught them that Being Real is what matters more then Anything. I have many friends with children the same ages as my adult children who are big fat loser kids still living at home, not finished with college and not living any kind of real life at all.

My 23 year old Graduated from the University of Oregon with HONORS and spoke at the ceremony with her degree in Psychology and is starting her Masters Program in Marriage and Family Therapy. They are each individual es and both completely the opposite from each other in every possible way. I raise Authentic and self thinking children who Know the WORLD WATCHES them... That they are actually responsible for what they say, what they write and how they live their own lives.

Some might say their mothers "Publicness" did nothing but help them understand that it really all does matter and there isn't any such thing as "privacy" except in the bathroom and no one really cares about that. My Adult children NEVER snuck out at night, used drugs, got in trouble for anything. The lived in a life were there wasn't much need for "privacy" because there really wasn't anything to HIDE.

To me an Authentic life means that it is the same in public as it is in private aside from some personal activities shared between two people. And even that isn't much if the two people are not Authentic with themselves and each other.

My children know that there really are not huge secrets in this world. People see what they do even if I don't write about it. The fact it wasn't written didn't mean it didn't happen. My children also know that what they Write or say may come back to hurt them. They know that Fowl Language is offensive to most people and they know that Intelligent People have a bigger vocabulary then words that start with the letter "F". I made sure to help them learn as many Adjectives as they might need to express themselves with more talent then an uneducated person who seem to cling to offensive NON-Words which are overused by ignorant people who seem to think they add to the emotion of something spoken or read. My children learn by ME and my public life that those "pee-pee" words lack every form of class.

I also find it rather funny that somehow I should shield myself from being known on the Internet as WHO I actually am--when my husbands name is plastered all over the Internet--by the Federal Government... Because of who he is and what he does. No one seems to make a point of that breech of privacy...

The truth is Privacy only matters if you live in a cave. Authentic people with good communication skills and plenty of adjectives to express themselves and nothing to hide don't really give much care to privacy, My name is listed in the phone directory, people actually do knock on my door and actually know who I am. Wow!

So, I have no idea why this whole Internet privacy anonymous world is considered so important when I walk around WHO I am everyday. What I write about my children is witnessed, documented and part of the story of their Authentic lives. If my child "Hates" me when she reads what I have written--she would have found another reason to hate me anyway. Since, I don't teach my children to HIDE and be fake in the world. Some people out there might have been better off if their mother had written about them--before the news did when they ended up in jail or writing the F-word all over thinking it wasn't offensive. Even behind the wall of the Internet you can tell when someone cares about the Public face they show even if it is masked by a computer keyboard.

So other than my writing pen names I am under contract to use with publishers--I am very tired of this double life! I don't live behind a computer keyboard and as I walk in life my REAL Name is the name people at support group, the schools, my neighbors and pretty much anyone in my real life knows me as. It seems funny to think that being someone else on the Internet is so important...After all I live with People Near Me! and They KNOW my Name! And well--people on the Internet are no more likely to come hurt me then anyone else who actually might see I am a person...

If My Husband can be listed by his full and legal name, hundreds of times by the US Patent Office because he has written something like 300 Patents (which take about 5 or more years to actually be issued and recorded) then Who Cares if anyone knows who I am... I am the wife of an amazing Genius who writes Patents. Just do a search Andrew Rodney Ferlitsch and see how private our lives really are....

so, who cares about protecting privacy--our lives are far too rich to sacrifice who we are for a screen name anon life so we can spit out four letter words and act as if someone might pay us to write or show us respect just because we hide behind a screen name and think that means Privacy...


  1. Anonymous9:04 AM

    I'd just like to know how you became a "famous" and very rich writer by doing Girl Scout newsletters.
    Who knew that was a money maker? You go girl!
    I will be fixed on this blog trying to learn the secrets of fame through bad writing and mediocrity.

    Keep selling those cookies!

  2. How Funny AdoptedJane!

    Trying to post anonymous on my blog... Like I can't figure it all out.

    Newsletters are NOT the same as Girl Scout Councel News Papers -- Newsletters are little printed blogs.

    Oh, and No That job and many other's that I make public have nothing to do with How I made my money or who I am with a pen-name...

    Contracts with publishers are far more important to me then defending myself from your crazy rantings. I don't need to play the game with you Jane... I frankly don't care how you feel about me.

    And yes, I have become very lazy with the services of editors and find that Blogging has made me start to pay much better attention. It's all a growing thing for me...

    At least I don't need to use the F-word to make my ideas real... Clearly those who Pay Bloggers agree with me considering I keep seeing the cash roll in... and you keep getting rejected for your Nasty little attitude and victim stance over the fact you were raised by Great Adoptive Parents...

    All the AdoptedJane HATE that has been sent my way will be completely Published on my Newtorking Blog--Melissa and I are about to launch at AdoptiveParentsNetwork.com
    It does not belong on this blog--I would not want my children to believe that wallowing in self-pitty for 40 years and engaging in meaningless sexual relationships JUST because they happen to be adopted is an acceptable life.

    For my readers information and because I have removed the majority of AdoptedJanes Hate sent to me this woman has a problem.

    Out of No Where she has decided it is so important what I say, that she simply cannot move on.

    She seems to think in her twisted mind that I need to go and Copy her nasty little blog... Not even sure how she thinks such a thing... Anyone who looks will see my blog in No Way looks or Competes with her little world.

    Go Look Yourself while I get this crap ready to remove from this blog you will find the blog she thinks I have copied at:


    And sometime in the NEAR future we will just have to put this to a Vote on the Forum where 500 members can decide what they think about the way I have copied from her piece of trash.

    These comments and the AdoptedJane junk will be moved off this blog when I feel like spending anymore time dealing with AdoptedJane and her crazy F-word loaded garbage that ranks High with one of the smallest minorities or a minority group I can even think of... Of course she ranks higher then My sites her competitions is a few victim types who just want to blame every decision on the fact the were adopted--as little babies and raised by Nice People...

    Remember APN Members Any one of our children could be a Future AdoptedJane and frankly there isn't really anything we can do better to prevent a human from deciding that they want to suffer in pain forever....

    See You later and please feel free to Post a comment here... Perhaps I will add a Little Vote Box to this Blog and we can see how many people think I need to stoop down and copy Carp!

  3. This was a great blog post Anna. You made some excellent points. Being a public figure in your community, it really doesn't differ much from your internet presense--esspecially since we have many local people engaged in our internet communities as well as off internet communities.

    I only yesterday checked out Jane's blog. Aside from the allegations and responses exchanged in blog posts and the fact you may have used 3 collumn templates, I really don't see a how they're so similar. You've been writing on adoption for years between several internet layouts on and off blogspot with many similar features that you're using now. It does sound a bit egotistical for someone to think you're copying them. Not sure how long Jane's been writing her blog, but I know you've been writing on adoption for years.


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