Thursday, May 15, 2008

Day Treatment Post Honeymoon

It's been nearly six weeks since Makala started at the new school--in the district next door. I have had good communication with her teacher and yesterday had a meeting with the therapist at the school. There are of course, Bus issues. Which is not a surprise to us considering the fact that the Bus has always been a place Makala had boundary issues.

The teacher and therapist want to work on the boundary issues as a main focus. Primarily social boundaries. This has always been the key problem for Makala. She wants to be 28 years old, she is emotionally 5 years old and lives in the body of a 16 year old--but, she is supposed to only be 10!

Last week the children left our yard again. Well, actually they had asked if they could go across the road and see if the neighbor girl could play. I said they could go invite her over. Anyway, too much time passed and I put my shoes on to go find them. I noticed the neighbor girl had just arrived with her mother and they were unloading the car. So I started to look down the dead-end road...

Another neighbor drove up and saw me, he said the kids were at his house--playing with his 16 year old son.... that he can't help it my daughter has a crush on him! The father went on to say the he was there with his girl friend...

Boy Crazy! And I do know how that feels first hand actually. Some of the poor boys I was crazy about had a hard time dealing with me--I know that. I just didn't have the disability that my little girl has on top of being boy crazy! All we need to do is help her "Get" to the point she is mature enough and understands social boundaries well enough that she can take care of herself and make decisions based on thinking not reacting. There is a big difference to me when my daughter's make choice I don't agree with and when my daughters make choices because they don't fully understand the implications.

I just want to see Makala reach a maturity that she is responding and making her own decisions based on information and maturity... rather then impulse. Or worse -- a need to be validated. This I think is something that only maturity can bring and I pray she develops the skills to make her own decisions rather then just acting out life.

At home we have bee dealing with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) behaviors again... I have been dealing with it partly in a sense of amusement. She has outgrown some of her skills in tantrum throwing I suppose because once a person gets so big--it kinda hurts to be physical about things.

I have also been watching from a different perspective because I have recognized that in order for her to Move Forward and add some new level of skill to her life she typically has to go backward and add the new skill at different developmental stages... Baby Makala who talks and moves like a little 2 year old... then 4 year old Makala who is sneaky and just wants what she wants--and she is so cute no one tells her no... then Makala the beautiful girl who is trying to hard to live in a world that moves very fast for her...

We have been seeing a lot of Baby Makala over the past few weeks which I have decided is a positive thing in the overall picture. We have also learned that these are the "Repeat" times and part of the reason we see this cycle for her--is that she does need to "Repeat" what she learns over and over. It seems the way she is able to incorporate new information is to "Repeat" at some of the key developmental stages.

Now that I understand What this is all about for Her--I can actually help her "Repeat" at the stages she needs to--and guide her to more healthy ways of being able to do so. It has made things much easier for us to deal with as it is happening and now that we are understanding this the melt-downs are much less sever and last a shorter time.

Anyway, I just updated the calender and noticed that I don't have an appointment or major obligation for the rest of May! I honestly should schedule about 20 different things--but, have decided it isn't that important and I want to get things around the house in order--since summer and all that fun is brewing.


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