Sunday, May 04, 2008

Last night and teaching kids...It isn't always about Parents wanting to control things!

With a full acre you would think that two children could find all the room in the world to play and explore! Marty and Makala are the kinds of kids who love to play outside... A big change for me given the fact my older kids were two book-reading, anti-social-pale and washed out children who spent 85% of their free time playing Nintendo--or reading a book!

If they had the chance to grow up on this property I am rather sure they would have been just the same way they always were. Just the same as I noticed right off the bat that Makala was far more like me then the two I gave birth! And Marty has been an outside kid all along! He is never more happy than when he is covered in some kind of mud--and has some kind of life form in his pockets--and is running around with glee in rain or sunshine!

Daddy allowed Makala the chance to drive the tractor yesterday--without his being on it with her. MISTAKE! Of course, she accelerated and was 'out-of-control, and hit a tree! Dang-It! One day she is going to realize that she will get so much more freedom if she would just act like she had a clue! The problem is that Mommy is not playing the "I didn't know That" game any more.

Now that spring is actually trying hard to show herself--there is a lot to be done around the property and if we are going to build the fence around an area I can put up a nice pool things do need to get finished around the other parts of the land. So mom and dad have been busting our rear-ends and trying to get a quick start on the land...and new shed...and the fact that we want to get so much done this season.

As usual however--the lack of complete Structure is so hard for our little ones to enjoy. There seems to be this automatic need to push just one step over the line they should know we still maintain. For Makala it is as if no matter how much she gets--no matter how great the day--no matter how much rope we give, She will find some way to hang herself and cause a reason for action...

She always needs to know we are watching and that we will maintain the boundaries...

So...it had to happen of course. After a full day out in the yard--no mom spouting "put your shoes on...clean your room up...no this and no that." She just needs to get in trouble at least once a day! So yesterday not even 10 minutes before dinner was going to be served: Both Kids were no where to be found!

Daddy went out and found them down the street--Off the Property--without any kind of permission at all... They had a bucket of pink flowers fallen from all the cherry trees--for me of course! Yeah!

This happened all because last week they went around asking some of the neighbors if they could pick a flower from their yard--for mommy. And we were out and knew what was going on and daddy was socializing with all the people the kid's Hit-Up for a flower from their yards... Makala just wanted to do that Feeling Again...but, didn't think about it long enough to see the difference between Last week and Yesterday!

I gave them the: "When We don't Know Where You Are Anything Could Happen and We wouldn't Know it," talk.... the talk about what would we tell the police if we couldn't find them and a stranger had taken them? Would we just think "our kids always go off the yard without permission..." and not know they were getting hurt?

Then we told the children that after dinner they would spend the evening in their rooms--cleaning them up, reading, playing or whatever... that they lost freedom for the evening and that they need to understand the rules are sometimes about keeping them safe and leaving the yard without us knowing what it going on is Not safe and better Not happen again...

Makala responded like we were royalty or something. She craves tight boundaries and red-tape where she isn't supposed to walk. She accepted her exile to her bedroom like it was part of normal life--I guess, maybe it is? I just hate that she has to push soooooo far in order to FEEL SAFE sometimes.

Anyway it was hard for Marty as this may be the first time he had to spend time in his room before bed. It was maybe an hour they were "grounded" before time to go to sleep. Marty did all the tricks he could think of to get out and be the cute little baby boy bouncing around all sweet! NOT!

And, Makala spent her time writing me a Note:

I'm sorry mom.
I love and (heart) You.
I hope you feel better soon.
I can tell that you have been trying to help me and I will work hard more of the time for you.
I am really sorry.

(smily) Makala.


...all I can think is Wow--and so far I have so many reasons to know one way or another she will do okay someday--really she is going to be just fine....

*

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