Thursday, September 25, 2008

It Just gets more interesting.

I should just write a "parents manual" for dealing with Services since my personal experience has made our process so dog-gone predictable! In fact, we have been through so many services for our 10 year old daughter that nothing surprises me anymore.

As I have written in the past, when a new service is provided by the school or mental health system everything starts out well--with lists of goals, expectations and a plan. When the allotted amount of "TIME" and "Funding" has been exhausted the providers of the service turn their attention on any weakness or flaw of the parents.

In my last post to this blog I said the writing was on the wall and the current public school day treatment service appears to be winding toward the end... And, as I wrote just 12-days ago:

I have learned that when dealing with the "systems" the title "Parent" is just another term for "Idiot pains in the Neck" to those managing the "system." And, if you are not the average idiot parent you will be treated like one anyway.

I know that the school teachers are NOT reading my blog because I have fantastic tracking with about 10 different methods to validate my visitors. I know the teachers are not reading this blog because if they were they may have thought twice about writing this paragraph in the email I received last night:

The last several days we are seeing more impulsive issues arise and we're wondering about where things are at with her medications right now. Did you have a chance to see her doctor? I know you mentioned the appointment you had set up last week was canceled. The impulse issues show up in talking out more often, making assumptions she can do something vs. asking about it first, etc. Not huge things at all though we're seeing more of it and are wondering about why. We continue to monitor her closely and also encourage her to make positive choices when she's struggling a little. She accepts our feedback well.

The naive and less jaded mother I was not long ago may not have noticed the full implications of the words said in this paragraph. Some might consider my reaction to be a little over dramatic but, lets look at the "Implied" meanings in the Above Paragraph:

  • We are seeing more Impulsive Issues Arise and know that last Thursday the Dr had to cancel her appointment (because he had a mild heart attack)and wonder about her medications?

IMPLICATION: We are assuming you are a loser and didn't make it to that appointment and as a result the prescriptions have run out and you have failed to drug your child so she will comply at school and not cause problems.

  • Come to think of it--we have noticed that she is talking out more--interrupting and not asking permission before doing things. Not enough to actually mark her score down but we WONDER WHY?

IMPLICATION: We know we are not meeting her needs here and that this isn't the right service... Her problems are NOT HUGE so we won't document them on her daily record, but we do want to make sure we get it in the record that YOU FAILED to take her to the doctor and that's why she is acting out a little bit... When you finally get around to taking her to the doctor and refill her medication we will be sure to NOTE in the record that THESE ISSUES vanished like Magic! After all it is important that WE make sure you don't trip up even a little bit and it's clear by the little information we have that WE CAN make this Notation that way in the future when YOU pitch your famous tissy--it will be clear YOU are the Lazy Parent who didn't follow through...

And... the last few words serve as CLEAR DOCUMENTATION that EVEN though Makala has a lazy mother who failed to take her to the doctor and refill her medication WE ARE DOING the Best we can under the circumstances and lack of parental obligation on your part.

This EMAIL was for and about one thing: To get it on the record that the services were provided and the REASON they were not effective is that MOM didn't do her Part... This Email STINKS of "blaming the parents" just as I wrote is the modus operandi when "Services are Ending"

It's as if they actually have a METHOD and I would bet the providers and teachers are actually required to attend training on HOW To Document PISS for Parents! I think there is a Check-List of all the Steps they are required to take in order to BE SURE it is Clear in the Record that THEY Did their part and it was the failing of the child's parent to follow through... I am sure they are RIGHT 75% of the time!

The PROBLEM For The School is that--they ARE WRONG this time.

We saw the doctor on Friday afternoon--his heart attack was mild and HE is the ONLY provider we have had (and pay a ton of money to have) WHO actually CARES more about our daughter then keeping a record of what failures we are as parents... He doesn't work for the State, Schools, or official service provider (which is why we pay a fortune to keep him for the past 4-years).

We also have the BRAND NEW Refills for all of her medications which were refilled on exactly the 30th day from the last refills... She didn't miss ONE SINGLE PILL and she didn't Miss her monthly Dr Appointment!

It is going to be very Interesting to SEE WHAT NEW IDEAS they come up with in order to document her records with the fact that WE ARE HALF HER PROBLEMS!

Stay Tuned for the Steps I have Learned to Take In order to Watch OUR BACKS!


  1. OUCH I really don't want to be on the receiving end of the email response you sent to the "teacher"

    Gee, I hate this game. C's IEP mtg should be very interesting.

  2. Anonymous7:18 PM

    Hi Anna,

    I hear what you are saying. I can say it really does not matter a bit to them. Calm down and don't let them win... I have heard that in some states they incite parents on purpose to get them to cuss or something, so they can have them arrested...

    No great suggestions.



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