Wednesday, January 14, 2009

New Year 2009 starts with some kind of Progress

If I am going to consider the year 2008 one with little progress and a lot of spinning in circles--It's clear to say, the New Year 2009 has started with some kind of progress... Some forward and apparently some backward! Of course, I have come to understand some progress is measured by how many steps forward--then backward are gained. The way I see it as long as there is at least a gain forward It can be considered a success!

In our world however, January can hardly be counted as a normal month. With every household family member celebrating a birthday between January 5 and February 5 our holidays don't actually end until oh, Valentines day! It's just a little difficult to see what our normal routine is going to be after weeks off school, Santa, and four birthday dinners, parties and cakes! Things around this house won't get back to the normal routine until all of the celebrating is over!

Then when I educate myself and learn about the effects of "life changing" events and factor the life changing history for Makala into the mix... Well, it's just a wonder we even make it through December to March!

It actually very easy to recognize these months as the roller-coaster they really are. When you consider the fact we Met our daughter Makala on January 3rd 2003! We had Dad's birthday during the Transition came home on January 10th and celebrated Marty's birthday a few days later... Left back to where the children had been the end of the first week home and had the Goodbye meeting with mom. The children had been together with their mother for only a few weeks and were placed into Foster Care when Marty was just a couple of weeks old in 2002.

We came back home, and I celebrated my 40th then a little more then a week later Makala turned 5! We finalized in December, Transitioned and had all the major family additions in January. February was apparently not a very safe or happy time for Makala with one of her most Traumatic memories being her 4th birthday shortly after Marty was born. We celebrated her 5th Birthday about a week after her goodbye visit.

All of her life changes seem to be lumped-up into the the three months we are Right in the Middle of! It would be nice for our family if we could just take a month long vacation from January 2 to February something.

For dad and mom this month is something we feel like celebrating and remembering. It's been an interesting and emotional 6 years for us. Our lives changed in ways we never imagined that day we first laid our eyes on the most beautiful little girl we had ever seen.

We will never forget the flood of emotions we had sitting at the booth in the Cafe January 3, 2003 when we saw our little girl walk to the table with her Foster Mother. If I had--had any doubt in my soul that I would feel the same about her as I did my older children, or her baby brother It vanished the moment my eyes saw hers.

When Andrew and I returned to our hotel that morning--it was clear we had both had that Parent moment just as amazing as it had been when I first saw my oldest son at his birth. We were awestruck and in love! Unconditionally and no matter what.

...and, even with Everything about all of the things in the past years, We are still both awestruck and in love, unconditionally... Just much differently then our pre-parent imaginations had dreamed.

At the end of the day, week, month or year--when we reflect on the progress and consider the whole picture we know one thing is 100% true, we are the ones who love her no matter what!

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