We do not know what to do anymore. In 2003 we adopted special needs siblings from the State of Oregon. My husband worked over the river in Washington for more then 11 years and after the oldest child completed 14 months of Day Treatment with OHSU we decided to move closer to dads job in June 2006. Thinking it would be beneficial for our family.
This was the biggest mistake of our lives.
We have used every mental health resource there is in the state of Washington and been told by DHS there are no services left. In the past we were told that our only choice was to voluntarily place her into Foster Care which was not something we wanted to do to her. Last week we were told that wasn't even an option. We have access to Oregon Service (Oregon Health Plan) and Washington State Medicaid as well as our own Private Health insurance however we can't seem to get our child HELP.
Tonight we had to cut twine off our youngest child's neck. He has lived in this Mentally Ill home with his biological sister and been repeatable abused for his whole life. This morning the children were home from school sick and it was calm I let my guard down and thought it would be a nice day. At about 9:00 our son came screaming as he had just witnessed his 11 year old sister poke a needle through the family cat's ear. Our little boy wanted to Kill himself tonight because he doesn't want his sister to say she loves him anymore.
I spent the day calling and Faxing the people who are supposed to care. You see we have residential treatment placement for her in Oregon--near our oldest daughter who is currently living near the facility. We have had a place that is willing to take our youngest daughter since October 2008 and for 6 months I have done everything I know how to get her placed there. Only because there isn't anything in Washington except foster care.
Today, I was told (again) that Washington doesn't offer Residential instead they offer Medicaid to the age of 21 instead of cutting off at the age of 18... I could care less. We have funding for these services and when we agreed to adopt special needs sibling were promised this would not happen--yet The Clark County Mental Health lady seems to think that if we find respite things would be just swell. As If! And we have been repeatable insulted by these people suggesting that if we get a Break things will be fine. Sorry, a break is the last of our needs. When we have tried to find respite NO One will accept the liability of providing it for our daughter.
We have been told by the people we pay to provide services that we should split our home up and have two separate households. Nice to see that the state of Washington cares about families so much.
We currently live in a home with an 11 year old who we can't take anyplace as she attacks us while driving or steals things when we do go--I can't leave her at home with her father as she is 150 pounds and grabs his privates, or hits him--he is 135 pounds and 47 years old... The police have come to our home and told us to lock her up or hit her--even suggesting I be sure to turn my wedding ring around when I backhand her as to not leave a mark. The Highest level of Crisis intervention Catholic Communities suggested we build a safe room in our garage, only problem is we couldn't put her in there even if we did build the Cage we were told to build.
She has had two Psych Hospital stays, at *** in Portland, 14 months day treatment at *** Child Psychiatric, 3 months residential treatment at *** in Portland, a Year of level 3 crisis services, is currently recieving Level 2 at school. She has been kicked out of the local public school for assaulting her special ed teacher and currently attends a public day treatment as nearly the only female student. She has always had therapy from before the time we met her--and has had the same psychiatrist for the past 4 1/2 years. He has recomended residentail treatment and written a letter requesting it. He currently wants me to "Chemically Restrain" her. Something I shouldn't have to do and don't believe is something a parent should need to do.
Today, she has threatened to hurt me, kicked in the back of the drivers seat destroying it as I drove to take her little brother to a tutor since at 7 he still can't even say his ABC's and our home is a war zone we can't even keep him safe let alone teach him his alphabet. We have a cat with pierced ears, and a little boy who at 7 wants to be dead. We all have our own therapists, shrinks and have called everyone we know to call--yet, it's just fine we all live here like this.
When we adopted these children we were promised that we would have support for these kinds of issues. That was Not True and frankly I am at a point I don't believe Washington State cares one little bit.
I write a blog--with very few of the details just enough to keep some kind of timeline in my mind. http://newmemories.blogspot.com Tonight we will go to sleep again with dad and brother safely locked behind the master bedroom door to protect themselves from a Known and Proven threat living in their own home. I have been threatened several times today and just rescued a 7 year old from a suicide attempt--I have already called all the numbers where someone is supposed to help. I get the impression we are simply supposed to lock her up until she breaks out and commits a serious enough crime to enter the Judicial system.
And people wonder how mothers get killed with Hammers by 14 year old daughters--or why so many nuts go to school and kill people? I know why--it's because the system is all about making it the fault of the parents. That is all we have seen and when they can't make it our fault they simply tell us how sorry they are...
Tonight I am emailing EVERY ONE on the face of the earth with our story--and how Washington will wait until a body bag is needed before finding help for a mentally ill--Fetal Alcohol child we lovingly Adopted because we foolishly believed we could provide what was needed... There isn't even anyone we can pay to help. And Washington believes it's in her best interest to stay in the Home until someone dies.
I am emailing Every Senator, congressman, television news show! I am Emailing the world this letter because when my dead body is found--or our 7 year old is dead from his own hand--or my husband is arrested for a false allegation I want this story to be well documented and I want it to be known We have done our best!
Please forward this letter to anyone you know.
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